Fall Break trip to New England to check out six fucking colleges in five days, bitches!

DAY ONE

• Go to sleep at 2 am, wake up at 3:30 am, shower, pack up last-minute items, throw them in the suitcase, and throw the suitcase in the car.
• Leave around 4:15-4:30 with Misty in tow.
• Weep at the prospect of leaving the puppy behind for a week.
• Pick up Grama.
• Go to airport.
• LEAVE. 
• This included a layover in Washington, D.C., and sleeping on the entire flight there. Then the little hop over to Boston.
• Get our rental car, drive to…Waltham? Yeah. Stay the night there. Fucking TIRED, man. Long day. About 12 hours’ worth of travelling. Hardcore.

DAY TWO

• Wake up at…9 am? Get ready in a huge fucking rush.
• Still end up arriving at Brandeis late.
• Argue with Mum while she drops a lot of F-bombs.
• Park and then RUN to catch up with one of the walking tours that has already left.
• Catch up with them at some…student centre building thing.
• Get stuck outside the building because we need a goddamn card key to open everything because goddamn October break.
• Knock on the glass door and have some woman take pity on us.
• Continue tour nonchalantly without ever introducing ourselves.
• Tour guide is this hilarious guy who I sort of love.
• Yes, you are, in fact, handsome and witty and charming. 
• Wind up back at the Office of Admissions.
• Get offered delicious cookies.
• Miss out on delicious cookies.
• Because greedy and selfish assholes ate them all.
• Damnit.
• Ask about the Info Session. “Oh that’s in the building across the way and already started about five minutes ago.”
• FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—
• Run over.
• Find it in this theatre thing with really weird steps that aren’t lit up at all.
• Awkwardly stumble down to the second row.
• Sit down.
• Listen/ask questions in a dimly lit theatre.
• Stay after and ask another question.
• Back to the lobby and snagging some paperwork and pamphlets and stuff.
• RUUUUUNNNNNN MUTHAFUCKAAAASSSSS
• Drive to…fuck. Was THAT Waltham? I can’t remember. Maybe it was Norton or something. Anyway.
• WHEATON COLLEGE, NOW.
• Arrive at Wheaton surprisingly on-time.
• Wander awkwardly and aimlessly in the crowded lobby. Fill out this paper thing. 
• Realise we forgot to sign in at Brandeis. Unfortunate because now it looks like we never showed up. Whoops.
• Finally get our tour guide. Head out.
• See the athletics buildings first.
• More athletics.
• Look at the pool the synchronised swimming team uses.
• Wow.
• Oooh.
• Aah.
• Pretty.
• More athletics.
• OH LOOK SCIENCE.
• Did we mention we have tutors and stuff?
• Hey listen to these stupid school traditions.
• We push the Frosh into the pond.
• Apparently the peacock reflects in the pond if the conditions are just right. I’ve never seen it but it’s legend.
• Some kids try to row across the pond on a mattress every year for this competition.
• It’s really funny.
• OH HEY ACADEMICS.
• NO WAIT FOOD FORGOT THE FOOD.
• Isn’t the campus PRETTY?
• Hey here’s another college tradition!
• THE TOUR IS NOW FINISHED
• Stand around awkwardly waiting to see where the info session is.
• Woman arrives and is apparently leading the info session. I see her and my immediate mental response is
• Well fuck. This is going to be a trainwreck.
• Walk across campus to info session location. 
• Bemoan the fact that I have now climbed 600 staircases with a bum knee.
• Admit defeat as I have to climb 600 more.
• Info session consists of no info. Only questions answered with the highly irritating phrase:
• “Yeah, of course. Absolutely.”
• Repeated in various forms and at varying intervals.
• FINALLY LEAVE.
• Whisper conspiratorially with my mum as we leave campus about how unimpressive it was.
• Argue over where to get food.
• End up running into people from the tour at some doughnut shop.
• Leave. Run. RUN LIKE THE WIND.
• Drive to…fuck. Groton, CT?
• Sleep somewhere. Might’ve been a Hampton Inn, whereas the night before was a…Best Western?

DAY THREE

• Okay wake up and drive to Connecticut College.
• We’re a bit late, again…*cough*
• My mum admits that it’s her fault, this time. Even though it’s technically mine. Very confused. Whatever.
• Arrive a bit late for the info session.
• Walk in right as the woman is wrapping up her own introduction, and then passes it on to us chilluns to introduce ourselves.
• I’m last.
• I’m also sat next to a woman who sounds as though she’s got the world’s worst cold.
• Fuck my life.
• Info session goes on for ages and is really informative.
• I have a panic attack mid-session because of some expectations she’s lined out for Conn Coll and other similar colleges.
• Inner mantra becomes:
• “I am a failure. I am a disappointment. I will never amount to anything. No college will ever accept me. I shouldn’t have wasted my high school years. Fuck. I’m an idiot. Fuck me.”
• Walk outside. Bathroom break. But not before talking to the woman again about the weather difference between here and Arizona and what other colleges we’re looking at. 
• TOOOUUURRRR
• The girl’s nice enough.
• Walk around. It’s really cloudy outside. Even though it’s about noon, it’s dim.
• Learn about their Study Away Teach Away programme. Ish cool.
• Art programme is cool.
• Nice enough campus.
• All righty then.
• Tour over.
• Pick up some papers and pamphlets.
• Car.
• Have a near meltdown about my lack of ability, etc.
• Mum is unable to console me because she’s starving and braindead.
• We go to get coffee and food.
• I forget what we end up eating. I think I got Starbucks and she got…? Fuck if I know. 
• Mild arguments ensued anyway.
• Drive to Middletown, CT.
• Stay at the Inn at Middletown.
• Not wildly impressed but whatever.
• Food? Drug store? Can’t remember.
• SLEEP.

DAY FOUR

• Wake up. 
• Lament another day of touring and info sessions, etc.
• Rejoice at the fact that it doesn’t start until 2:30.
• Wander around Middletown.
• Go “shopping.”
• Consider purchasing insane socks for Jeze. 
• Regret not purchasing them.
• Flail about while discussing “YOLO” with my mum.
• Almost run into this guy trying to get through a door behind me.
• Feel stupidly embarrassed.
• Rain lets up a bit.
• FINALLY MAKE IT TO WESLEYAN COLLEGE.
• Get a fucking awesome parking spot.
• Leaves all over our car. Awesome shit.
• Enter Office of Admissions and head to the bathroom. Someone left one of the stalls a mess, despite the impeccably clean room itself. Not so awesome shit.
• Waiting about for the info session.
• Nice woman haphazardly dressed tells us we can wait in the giant, pretty meeting room.
• We do.
• Literally only me and my mum, and then this other girl and HER mum.
• Sit on a comfy chair.
• Nice woman and nice guy talk with us.
• TOTALLY OPEN CURRICULUM FUCK YEAH.
• The other people are disconcerting. From somewhere in California. Apparently checked out Wheaton College in Illinois.
• Remember that Wheaton College is typically conservative and Christian.
• Immediately get antsy.
• Info session wraps up. Not bad. Save for one instance where nodding in response to the question, “Do you guys know what an open curriculum is?” ended up putting me on the spot where I actually had to describe it. Panic sets in and I space for about five seconds. I feel myself blushing for no goddamn reason. Finally get the words out, except aphasia sets in when “distribution” refuses to come to mind. My struggling is awkwardly ignored and we all move on with our lives.
• TOUR. Just us four again.
• The girl is a dancer and sounds vaguely like a smoker. Except she probably isn’t? Who knows. 
• She walks really fucking fast.
• Yeah, we get it. You’re a dancer with stupidly long legs. NOW STOP IT.
• Beautiful campus. Got some pictures with my phone. 
• Sloshing through the mud. Splashes on my shoes. Become crestfallen. Get the mud off later. Resume normalcy.
• After the tour, we head out for FOOOOOOOOD.
• We go to Fiore II again. The best Italian restaurant ever. 
• I got this chicken fiore whatnot. Oh my shit. Best thing ever.
• Their BREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAADDDDDDD.
• Cannot handle.
• My mum wasn’t fond of her lasagne even though I LOVED it. 
• She then consumes a cappucino. And it’s really good, apparently. Even SMELLS good, to me. And I typically hate the smell of that stuff.
• Leave restaurant properly fed.
• Sit in car waiting for my mum to get her coffee.
• Witness adorable lesbian couple that I blogged about while sitting in the car as it happened.
• Drive AWAYYYYYY.
• Get into argument with my mum out of nowhere.
• Silent for about the rest of the car ride.
• Which is long.
• Since we’re driving from the middle of Connecticut
• to the northwestern corner
• of Massachusetts.
• So I fell asleep at some point, I think.
• Also food?
• Arrive at hotel.
• Not as prickly? Can’t recall.
• Oh no wait.
• That was the Crowne Plaza night.
• No, we were still snippy.
• SLEEP.
• Eventually.

DAY FIVE

• WAKE UP. 
• Erm. 
• I forget.
• What did we do?
• Oh yeah. We drove around Pittsfield and Williamstown and whatnot a bit before the tour at…whenever it was.
• More Dunkin Donuts.
• Because CHRIST. You’d think there was no other place to get food in New England.
• It’s the East Coast’s Starbucks.
• Okay anyway.
• We arrive at Williams College.
• WEEEEEE.
• Walk into Office of Admissions.
• Immediately confronted with the social niceties involved with some guy sticking his hand in my face and saying, “HIIII. WHAT’S YOUR NAME? I’M DEREK.”
• Fuck I was terrified. Could barely keep eye contact.
• Meanwhile this guy is a totally sweet Southern gentleman.
• Anyway.
• Filled out a card.
• Bathroom break.
• Info session across the way in the Jewish Life Centre. I think that’s what it was called? No idea.
• Anyway it was cosy.
• SHITTONNE of people, though.
• Derek was nice.
• Talked to all us “young people” by name.
• Well spoken, etc.
• Very informative.
• I was asked to extemporise on the Oxford Tutorials that Williams does. I waffled a bit before speaking.
• Apparently I didn’t say what he was looking for because he asking some other kid the same question.
• I shrunk back into my chair.
• Then tour!
• Tour guide was positively lovely.
• She was fantastic.
• All adorably excited about the school and everything. Native of the Berkshire Mountains.
• Pictures of the pretty campus.
• We went inside WAYYYY more buildings on this tour than we did on the last one over the summer.
• Also better info session.
• Anyway.
• AMAZING campus.
• Lots of cool information.
• Better look at the tiny town within the campus.
• Loved Williams way more.
• After the tour, ate a sandwich at this deli.
• Pretty damn good.
• The sandwiches were all named after actors that had eaten there after performing/participating in either the Williamstown Theatre Festival (which we saw over the summer) or the Film Festival, which was going to happen in a few days, which we subsequently missed because travelling.
• Driving around a bit more.
• PICTURES.
• Lovely pictures.
• FALL COLOURS ARE A-SPRINING UP EVERYWHERE.
• GET IT
• OH GOD
• OH FACT
• I’M SO FUNNY
• WORDPLAY
• Okay anyway.
• Driving.
• LOTS of driving.
• We got food and coffee somewhere?
• Oh yeah I forgot we stopped in at this bakery in Williamstown, as well. Awesome.
• Okay anyway.
• DRIVING.
• DRIVING UP THROUGH VERMONT.
• Missing all the fall colours because DARKNESS.
• Crazy drivers, reasonable drivers, etc.
• Did we stop somewhere? I can’t remember.
• Arrive at the Middlebury Inn.
• Historic site. Awesome building. PICTURES.
• Walking around.
• Impossible to remain quiet. Squeaky floorboards.
• People are EVERYWHERE.
• Everyone’s there for the fall colours.
• Oh, tourists.
• Finally return to room.
• I draw on a card for a professor at Middlebury because he helped me with my Economics project two weeks ago.
• FINALLY SLEEP.

DAY SIX

• Wake up because my mum has to inch between my bed and the wall to get to the bathroom.
• Wake up later. 
• Finish off the card.
• Dress in my new blue-violent jeans and silver sparkly Chelsea boots, as well as a green Boosh t-shirt, my rainbow jacket, and my black blazer.
• I was fucking awesome that day.
• My mum walks down to the car to load up her own suitcase.
• Comes back and says
• “I think the Dalai Lama is staying at this hotel.”
• Apparently there are Secret Service-type blokes standing about. Right in our hallway.
• So as we go to leave for the lobby
• we pass by them
• like
• two doors down
• and my mum says
• “So is the Dalai Lama coming here today?”
• and the guy flounders for a few seconds, his face a gibbering mess
• before he finally attempts to shrug and says
• “Maybe.”
• Did I fail to mention that the Dalai Lama was speaking at Middlebury College the day we were there? And the next day?
• AND THAT WE WERE MISSING BOTH BECAUSE IT WAS SOLD OUT AND WE DIN’T KNOW SO WE DIDN’T HAVE TICKETS
• Anyway.
• So we’re leaving
• and the parking lot is filled
• with more of the security people
• there are even sniffer dogs
• IT WAS INTENSE
• The Dalai Lama was totally staying at the same hotel as us.
• FUCK YEAH.
• Okay anyway.
• So we stop by Middlebury College’s Office of Admissions to get some information about some professors. Cos we needed to drop off the card I drew for the one professor, and then we were going to attempt to sit in on some Freshman Seminars but whatever.
• ^^That all fell through, despite all of our running around. Didn’t get to sit in on any classes. Oh well. 
• But we got the card to the one professor. Left it in his mail thing outside of his office door.
• Everyone was lined up to see the Dalai Lama it was CRAZY.
• So then we went and got food.
• Shitty waitress. 
• Delicious food.
• All local and wondrous.
• Brought the half sandwich with us.
• Walked back through town and to campus.
• Arrived early for the info session.
• Were told that there would be no guided tours because no one was available to lead them because they’re aLL SEEING THE DALAI LAMA AND ASLDKJFASLDKJFAWLIERNAL
• Anyway we got some pictures beforehand and then we did the info session and it was lovely and then asked a few questions and then received a map, went to the car, drove across campus and walked a bit.
• Gorgeous.
• Fucking GORGEOUS.
• Awesome science building and garden and surrounding area.
• THE VIEWS.
• We also snuck a peak into some of the dorms through the windows.
• Awesome.
• Got pictures.
• It started SNOWING.
• Legitimately SNOWING.
• FUCKING SNOW, MAN.
• Also nice people.
• Ran into this nice woman and her sister-in-law. We helped them carry stuff to their car.
• Apparently her daughter is a freshman at Middlebury right now. Loves it.
• Talked to them a bit.
• Drove some more.
• Went to the athletics centre that we didn’t get to see on the fucking fantastic tour we had with our tour guide Khalid last time.
• Got stuck in a shittonne of traffic because the Dalai Lama’s speech/presentation had just finished.
• SO MANY PEOPLE.
• Made jokes about him repeatedly screwing us over. I apologised to the cosmos and shouted about bad karma.
• THE MOST BEAUTIFUL VIEWS EVER FROM THE ATHLETICS CENTRE OH MY FUCK SO FUCKING GORGEOUS I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN I TOOK SO MANY PICTURES AND STUFF AND OHA SDLKGJASLDKGHASLDGHALSDVAWLERIGHALKJGASDLIGUAWEIGHASLDKFJASDJFBEATUFIUL
• So then we went to leave and yeah.
• OH WAIT
• Before we got to the athletics centre, we were driving past all of the backed-up traffic, and the Dalai Lama waS JUST STANDING OUTSIDE GETTING READY TO TALK TO PEOPLE OR WHATEVER HE WAS ABOUT TO DO UNDER THIS AWNING THING AND PEOPLE WERE ALL LINED UP AND TAKING PICTURES AND I DIDN’T HAVE A CHANCE TO TAKE ONE BUT
• I
• FUCKING
• SAW
• THE
• DALAI
• LAMA
• IT
• WAS
• AWESOME
• Those milliseconds are forever burned into my brain.
• Okay anyway we went to leave and it took ages.

DAY SIX CONTINUED

• So we finally got out of Middlebury and the route to our next hotel was right through the Green Mountains.
• Let me reiterate that
• WE DROVE RIGHT THROUGH THE GREEN MOUNTAIN AT THE PEAK OF FALL COLOURS
• So yeah.
• We drove through the Breadloaf Writing College campus thing.
• BEAUTIFUL.
• By the way, it KEPT snowing for a while. In town, out of town, on the mountain. It was insane. And gorgeous.
• Pictures. So many pictures.
• Also my mum and I had to PEEEEEEE.
• And we just keep driving.
• And getting out every once in a while to get better pictures.
• Getting out and standing in 42F weather next to a babbling brook isn’t conducive to holding it long enough to make it to a bathroom.
• But we managed.
• Ended up driving through this adorable little town called Rochester.
• Stopped at this Bakery and Bookstore.
• Went inside.
• Smelled good.
• AWESOME BOOKS.
• Found our way to the food counter.
• They were getting ready to “close up.”
• THE WOMAN THERE WAS SO FUCKING NICE YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND.
• So sweet.
• As sweet as the baked goods she made.
• BADUMCHH
• Okay anyway.
• She was talking to us and all excited and we talked about the Dalai Lama (her friend got her tickets for the speech the next day), and her son and daughter, and how she loved my jacket, and some professors at Middlebury, and how it’s fantastic, and yadda yadda yadda.
• SHE WAS SUCH A DIAMOND I CAN’T EVEN EXPLAIN
• So we got cinnamon rolls and lemon cookies and chocolate cookies and this chocolate-filled croissant thing and my mum got coffee which was apparently one of the top two coffees she has EVER HAD.
• We drove past a bunch of cows and sheep and horses and the like on our way to Rochester, and the store said EVERYTHING was local and organic. Which it totally was. You can TASTE THE DIFFERENCE. UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH
• FOODGASM
• Anyway we finally made it to the bathroom.
• And then I was waiting for my mum and I was looking at all of the books and then we found BUTTONS
• SO NOW I HAVE FIVE BUTTONS SUPPORTING AWESOME CAUSES AND THIS ADORABLE LITTLE SHOP WHICH ALSO SERVED SOUPS AND STUFF
• I’m excited.
• But SCIENCE—that woman was genuinely FANTASTIC.
• If/WHEN we move to Middlebury, we’re totally stopping by. Constantly. Frequently. I mean. REALLY.
• Okay anyway further driving that was about it.
• Drove to Nashua, NH.
• Noticed the difference between Red and Blue states.
• And Vermont and every other state.
• You want to know what it is?
• Red states are filled with inconsiderate assholes who are out for themselves.
• And Blue states are filled with kind, happy people who only want to help.
• Nothing makes it more evident than the people who are on the highway with you.
• I’m generalising, obviously, but it’s really pretty true.
• Anyway so we stayed at another Hampton Inn.
• That’s about it.

DAY SEVEN

• Wake up 10:30
• Leave 11:35
• Drive
• Dunkin Donuts
• Drive
• Gas
• Guy on the sidewalk in a Halloween costume doing the Thriller dance attempting to direct traffic to a car sale.
• I gave him a thumbs-up.
• He waved.
• I waved back.
• I also got a picture.
• Kept driving.
• Discussed colleges and things with my mum. Recommendation letters and the like.
• Made it to the rental car drop off.
• Guy was very nice.
• My mum remembered (belatedly) why it’s never a good idea to sit across from the luggage rack on those rental car shuttles.
• So
• Many
• BUTTS
• Make it to airport
• Walking
• Flight
• ON THE PLANE TO DENVER MY MUM AND I WATCHED “THE HOUNDS OF BASKERVILLE” (Sherlock) AND I COULDN’T HELP IT BUT I FLAILED AND MADE STUPID FACES AND TALKED ABOUT RIDICULOUS THINGS AND FEELINGS AND HEADCANON AND FANON AND STUFF ANDL FAJSDLKGJASLDGHAWLEIALKBJDSIFHADLSKJ
• The guy next to me was probably freaked out.
• Goddamn three-seaters.
• And being in the middle seat.
• The guy also had a cold, I think.
• Anyway, as always, the Southwest Airlines employees were super nice.
• And funny.
• Apparently we missed a magic trick. :(
• Layover in Denver.
• New flight.
• Attempting to sleep.
• But only feigning the attempt.
• Get off plane.
• Get luggage.
• Walk out and wait for my Grama and Misty.
• Get in car.
• Take her to the Cell Phone Lot to where my aunt is waiting with her two kids.
• Drop Grama off there.
• The exchange shaves about an hour-and-a-half (or more) off of our trip home.
• Finally find our way out of the airport.
• Get on highway.
• Get off for Starbucks.
• The guy at the drive-thru is fucking hilarious and adorable.
• He jokes about with my mum via the voice thing.
• Then he comes up to give my mum her coffee
• and he says
• “Did she already give you your panini?”
• cos I’d asked for a panini and this other girl had come up to the window and given me one already
• and we said 
• “Yes. She got one for us.”
• and he gives us this solemn look and says
• “Well. I guess this is goodbye then.”
• and we’re like
• “I suppose so.”
• “So long. May peace be with you.”
• “And with you.”
• and we drove away.
• THAT KID THOUGH
• I MEAN REALLY

OKAY THAT’S ABOUT IT

There are things that I’ve left out and don’t feel like adding. Minor details. But anyway.

That’s my week-long trip in summation and bullet points.

I hope it was interesting.

Thank you for reading.